Let me be clear about something: I did not deflate the air mattress on purpose.

I was simply repositioning. Several times. At speed. During the fourth quarter. And if the Nuggets happened to be playing the Timberwolves at the time, that is a coincidence. What matters is what came after.

After the Great Mattress Incident, a pillow situation developed in this household. My mom — who I allow to live with me — began testing pillows. Ten of them. She had opinions about all of them. I had one opinion: whichever one she wasn't using.

The Dream Surrender II was the one I kept coming back to.

My Professional Assessment

• Loft. Substantial. Holds its shape even under the full pressure of an 80-pound pit bull who likes to sleep with his entire face smashed into it. That is not nothing. Lesser pillows have not survived this test.
• Fill. Soft but not squishy. There's a difference. Squishy means it collapses under you. Soft means it meets you. The Dream Surrender II meets you. I respect that.
• Cover. Smooth. No weird texture. No crinkling sounds when you readjust at 3am. Readjusting at 3am is important to me.
• Smell. Clean. Neutral. Not perfumed. I have a very good nose and I have opinions about scented things. This passed.
• Durability. I have been sleeping on this pillow aggressively for several weeks. It looks the same as when we started. My mom says that's because it's hospitality grade and built for commercial use. I don't know what that means but I approve of the results.

The Verdict

She says I'm biased because I chose the most expensive one. I say I have good taste. We are both right.

The Dream Surrender II is the first pillow in this household that has met my standards without qualification. It holds its shape. It smells like nothing objectionable. It does not crinkle. It meets you where you are, at whatever hour you arrive, at whatever weight you bring to it.

This is what a pillow should do. Most of them don't. This one does.