I Have Some Things to Say.
A Life Update. By Nugget.

My mom asked me to write a life update. I agreed immediately because I have been waiting for someone to ask and also because I have opinions and they have not been getting nearly enough airtime lately. There is a lot to cover. I will not be brief. You are welcome.

First of all — I am fine. I want to lead with that because I know how she writes and I know she will make things sound more chaotic than they are. I am fine. I am adapting. I am, if I am being completely honest, handling this summer better than anyone else involved and I think that deserves to be said clearly and early.

We moved. Nobody asked me. This is where I would like to start because it is the root of several issues I will be addressing today. The moving, the changes, the new situation — none of it was run by me. None of it included my input. I was simply informed after the fact, as I always am, and expected to adjust, as I always do. I adjusted. I am excellent at adjusting. I just want it on record that nobody asked.

Let Me Tell You About My Mom

She is my favorite human. That is settled, it is not up for discussion, and it is not going to change. She cooks my meals herself — real food, every day, served with a fork — and she checks on me constantly and has chosen me over and over without hesitation and I know that and I love her for it even when I am also annoyed with her which is sometimes simultaneously.

She is also, and I say this with genuine love, not always the most fun. She worries too much. She redirects me away from things I want to do. She is always looking around to see who is watching when I am simply expressing joy in a parking lot, as though an audience is a problem rather than an opportunity. She says no to the skunk every single night without a single trial run. She could loosen up. I have communicated this many times through many channels. She has not loosened up. We are ongoing.

But she is mine. Completely. Always. That part is not complicated and never has been.

On the Matter of Adults Behaving Like Teenagers

There is someone I like very much who still comes around — still brings me food on walks, still shows up, still good — and I want to be clear that that part has not changed and I appreciate it and I will not be taking sides because I am smarter than both of them and taking sides is beneath me.

What HAS changed is that when one of them is around the other one suddenly isn't. I walk in one direction, she steers me another. Someone shows up, someone else finds somewhere else to be. It is like a very inefficient relay race where nobody wins and I am the only one standing in the middle wondering what is actually happening and why nobody has asked for my input on any of it.

I have been alive for several years. I have never once started drama. I have never once made a situation more complicated than it needed to be. I eat my food, I go on my walks, I love who I love, I greet everyone with the same enthusiasm regardless of whatever the adults have going on between them. And yet somehow it is the adults — grown humans, allegedly — who cannot figure out how to be in the same general vicinity without making it a whole thing.

I am not saying it is easy. I am saying I figured it out and I am a dog. Both of them could stand to take some notes. I love them both. I would like them to act like the adults they technically are. I would like to stop being treated like a scheduling conflict. That is my full position and I am not elaborating further.

The Parking Lot Yard

We do not have a yard. I resolved this myself, without being asked, by claiming the parking lot next door. There is a patch of grass in the middle of it that is excellent and fully mine and I use it completely every single time — flat out, stretched, taking exactly as long as I need. She makes faces about the time this takes. I do not acknowledge the faces. The grass is there, I am there, this is what grass is for.

There is also someone whose workplace is across the lot who comes by on breaks with food — real food, not treats — and I have built my day around this appointment. I am fed at home, well and with a fork, and still — extra food is extra food and I will not apologize for wanting it. On walks I try to go over there. She tries to redirect me. I do not redirect. She can stop me from doing something but she cannot make me go a different direction when my mind is made up and I feel like she knows this by now.

The Post-Bathroom Situation

After I go to the bathroom it is time to play. This is the rule. It has always been the rule. I jump, I grab the leash, we run, it is fun. There are sometimes people watching and I find that exciting. She finds that mortifying. I genuinely cannot explain the difference in our perspectives here but I am accepting that we simply see the audience thing differently. She is wrong but it is okay.

The Skunk

I want to meet the skunk. I have wanted to meet the skunk every single night for weeks. I have been told no every single night for weeks. The skunk has never once indicated it does not want to meet me. I am friendly. I have excellent social skills. The fact that she will not even let me try is a failure of trust and also honestly a little insulting and I have logged it along with all the other things nobody has asked me about. I have not given up. I will never give up. This is in writing now.

The Couch

There is a couch. I am helping with the renovation by peeling the edges, which are peeling anyway and I am simply accelerating the natural process. She sweeps. I peel. It is a system. She says this is not helping. I say we have different definitions of helping and mine is correct and she should be thanking me.

I am fine. I am adapting. I am handling this summer with significantly more grace than I am being given credit for and I would like that acknowledged. I love my mom. I love the people in my life. I would simply like all of them to get it together, act their age, and stop making me feel like a scheduling conflict. I am not a scheduling conflict. I am the whole point. That is all.

Thank you for reading my update. I will be on the grass patch if anyone needs me.